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Walking down the aisle, smiling big, she winked as she passed me. Back then we talked about men, marriage, romance, and sex. I'll never forget how her mouth flew open when I approached our pastor's wife with a fairly provocative question about sex. The ladies in the room—several of whom were married—nodded their heads in agreement. So there I sat, feeling like some carnal beast among this lofty group of good Christian ladies.She was stepping into a new season of life—a husband, a new home, new responsibilities … For instance, I'd never recommend that a modern woman do as I did. In the mid-1990s, when I was seeing the man who became my husband, we talked on landline phones late at night (when rates dropped from 25 cents per minute to 10 cents), sent just a handful of e-mails (seemed impersonal), and never texted (weren't pagers mostly just for drug dealers back then? Along with these benefits, online dating does raise new dangers: a creep—a violent one, even—may be lurking behind the next click; the process over-represents certain features of a person (facial appearance, for starters); and it requires an investment of funds that perhaps could be better spent elsewhere. These archaic behaviors suited the olden days, but some of them seemed novel even to the generation before mine. It also reduces the need to choose between meaningful in a region where pickings are slim, and work that may be further from one's calling in a more populated area.

If fullness of life could be found in sexual stimulation, or if it was just a matter of making babies, the “forget formality and just have sex” approach might temporarily satisfy cravings and cause enough conception.” The vision of marriage we see in God’s word — the beautiful, radical display of God’s infinite, persevering love for sinners — makes it worth it to date, and date well.The world’s approach can provide fun and sex and children and eventually even some level of commitment, but it cannot lead to the life-giving Jesus after whom our marriages are to take their cues. Online dating doesn't correct the well-documented imbalance of devout Christian women (abundant supply) to like-hearted men (a paucity), but it at least widens the net for Christians seeking partners.It would be foolish, however, to preserve the dating practices of an earlier era, even as an attempt to avoid these dangers. Like work, house construction, and child-rearing, dating is a cultural practice that humans reinvent and adapt to different ...




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